In the Garden of Visibility and Remembrance

{ Jai Santora }

GROWING UP AS A TRANS PERSON is difficult under the best circumstances. Factors such as lack of family or communal support can make things even worse. I often reflect on how fortunate I am to have survived through all the things that I have been through, internal struggles of suicide included. At no time do I reflect more than when I hear about the rise of death due to violence amongst Trans individuals in the United States and across the world.

      At Boston Pride last year, a group marched carrying images of trans people who had lost their lives due to violence in the previous year.  My tears turned to uncontrollable shaking as the waves of individuals walking seemed to have no end in sight. Was it survivors’ guilt, fear for my 14-year-old trans child, or sadness over the loss of these beautiful lights that once shone so brightly? It was all of those things.

      I had already decided months prior that I wanted to do something to benefit my community. I wanted to make sure that each person who came after me would have an easier time transitioning than I did. A close friend once told me, “There was a time that this path was once all dense forest. Someone had to clear the trees before someone else could make the path and next someone will have to build the road.”

        Worcester is blessed with such a vibrant queer community! There are so many wonderful nonprofits long established that do incredible work, The Creative Hub, Safe Homes, Mass Equality, Love Your Labels, Swagly, Pride Worcester, just to name a few. But more hands make light work and we have a road to build!

     After seeing the demonstration at Boston Pride, I was inspired to raise awareness about the challenges of living as an out trans person. Trans people are targeted far too often, and a lack of support and resources often leads to suicide. In 2023, 53 trans people were killed in the United States, and 32 lost their lives due to suicide. These numbers are based only on cases deemed murder/suicide and on evidence or reports of the person having been trans. Many trans individuals who lose their lives have their identity covered up, are deadnamed, and so on, so the actual numbers are much higher.

    In 2023, I organized Trans Day of Visibility outside Worcester City Hall with the help of my friend Laura. Despite the rain, I was amazed by the number of people who showed up to listen to the speakers, including myself. The positive feedback from attendees and those who heard about the event convinced me that creating more visibility is the best way to help carve out a path and build that road towards progress and representation.

    However, I didn’t agree with my friend’s analogy of building a road by cutting down trees. Trees are far too important to the environment.  I believe that healing generational traumas is the key to progress.  So to set things right, let’s plant!  Planning Trans Day of Remembrance with my friend Tanya of Mass Equality, she told me about how during a previous year she had handed out tulips in a pot.  Each pot was representative of a trans life lost the year prior.  This reminded me of the demonstration during Boston Pride.  I couldn’t help but wonder what had become of these tulips the following year.  I decided that it would be incredibly inspirational to see them all bloom in their glory during the spring, perhaps as Trans Day of Visibility is celebrated.

     Thus, the idea of a Trans Visibility/Remembrance Garden was born, a new way to repair the generational trauma of “trees being knocked down” by planting something new. A flower in memory of a life lost would be a fitting representation. This garden would also create visibility, build a community, and allow people to volunteer and care for it while being their authentic selves.

     As you can imagine this is a lot of work.  It’s not a task that can be handled by an individual.  I knew that I was going to need help to make sure it didn’t fall away and become forgotten like so many other wonderful ideas before.  This was the birth of the non-profit Central MA Trans Visibility, an official 501c3 charity.  It is the mission of the organization to promote the visibility of the transgender community of Central Massachusetts through public programming. Our main focus is creating and maintaining the Trans Remembrance/Visibility Garden and to use it as a tool to build community.  We have already sparked a lot of interested volunteers and I can’t wait for that first shovel to pierce the earth!   

     We still need so much more support from the community before this dream of a garden becomes a reality.  One of the biggest hurdles is finances!  Unfortunately, there isn’t enough room in public funding for such a passion project.  However, the City of Worcester has been extremely supportive in seeing this garden through.  I’m asking for your support to help this community project get underway!  Every little bit helps!  Also, if you know of a business looking to support a wonderful cause, please reach out!  If you know of a queer-owned or queer-allied-owned nursery interested in donating supplies, please reach out!

     I’m aware that there is so much uncertainty with the upcoming election and the climate of inclusivity in this country.  That is why it is the perfect time for a large-scale display of acceptance and belonging in the heart of Massachusetts.  With your help, we can carry on the light of those that once shone so bright!  With your help, we can create a road to healthier well-being for the trans community.  Please click the link below to find out how you can help donate or become more involved! Thank You!

https://www.centralmatransvisibility.org